I can’t help but notice I have been having a lot of time on hand lately.
I also :-
1.) Made a wedding card for a friend.
2.) Knitted and made a small coin pouch.
3.) Been getting about my PROJECT THROW (spring cleaning my house) in huge leaps
WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME?
Not that I’m complaining (I have MORE to-dos on my list), but it’s showing that as the children grow up, I’m having more time. That Meimei does not stick to me all the time frees me up. But while I can do these projects (slowly over a few days), I also wonder if I am spending enough time with my children. I have a huge sense of insecurity if I am concentrating on doing something and leaving the children to themselves for too long. I dun like that feeling at all, yikes! As it is housework takes up a large chunk of my time. They have grown, and sometimes they play so well with each other I feel they dun need me. If I want to be very involved with them, I will have to play with them or get them to learn more things. But with my small pockets of free time, I venture off with crafts instead.
Looking at the things I do, you can see how un focus I am. I wish to be more focus. And also, spend more time educating the children.
Lately, as housework becomes less demanding, I feel like I am drifting aimlessly. At the back of my mind, I want to do more for my etsy shop. But here’s the dang thing : If you want to do more for a proper job, there’s not enough time. I have all those small scattered pockets of time, and being as distracted as I am, I just wander about doing whatever inspires me in the library books that I borrow. IF I borrowed some housekeeping books, I will go heavy on Project Throw. If I borrowed some financial book, I’ll go look at the futures market ( and lost a couple hundreds…sheesh). So, no, even though it looks like I have been doing much lately, there’s no direction to where I am going.
One of my ex-classmate who was a SAHM like me just went back to the work force recently. And viola~~~ more ideas in my head now (yippeee!)
But at some point in time, I also got tired of ‘trying to go somewhere’ with the extra time I have and just do what I want at that moment. I figure the moment you stop ‘trying’ so hard to find a direction and just live life, life will direct you to your vocation naturally.