My sister is down with depression. She came to Singapore for a break last week, and I saw what a bad shape she was in.
It began from work, I think. The workload was too much, and she endured for about half a year. In that period, she also had to help my parents change house. It all came together and she fell into depression now.
I did not notice anything when I met her back in June. And was suprised when she told me later. Because when I was there, she was quite cheerful. But she later told me what we see outside and how she feels inside is entirely different.
But this time when she visits me, I can see the full blown effects. She was tired, disinterested and was not able to care much. My mom and her two year old Maxwell came with her and she left most of the caregiving to my mom. Mostly she slept through the two days during the day when she was here.
Dun say she feels depressed, even when I see her like that I can’t help feeling depressed. Hers is clinical depression. It’s a condition that has gone pass what you think or feel. Some chemical reaction in the body also upsets the mood.
The closest I have experienced it was when I was pregnant with Meimei. I became totally uninterested in anything. Just wanna hide inside a hole and please nobody bothers me. Encouragement or positive thoughts have little effect because, how you say, come to this point you are just oblivious to any input from outside.
My sil had a very serious case about half a year after she had my nephew. I saw her in hospital and she was in a wreck. Utterly broken and in pieces. Contrasted with her norml confident self, it was almost heartbreaking to see.
Good thing is my sister is not as serious as she is. Eventually my sil recovered. She went for some kind of electrical theraphy, went back to work instead to taking care of her infant son. And she recovered. Three years later, I just met her last Sunday. Nary a sign of the illness, talking loudly again. 🙂
As I have said, encouragements do not work very well. But still the positive energy, if applied contantly, will work in small ways. I only want her to know, and have the confidence that, she will get well. And to look forward to it.
I do not know how else I can help, but I will like to just let her friends who read my blog knows, she is going through an extremely rough patch now. And it may take quite a while to get well. So if you could, please rally around her and offer little words of encouragements frequently to lift her a little. Show her more care and concern. I’m sure these will help her alot if many people do it. Do not mind if she does not reply. Give her some time.
She’s been blogging for long, and have shared her interesting and humorous take on life with us. And she was always the one who pushed me to blog initially. It pains me to see my cheerful and happy sister reduced to a tired, depressed person. And how we seldom are able to read her well crafted blog posts now. All due to heavy workload and now, this illness.
She said that when she goes back home this week, she is going to draw. I hope she did find the mood to do it. She told me, “I wont try to tidy and clean up my place even if I have this time on hand.” Almost apologetically, as if trying to justify and explain to me. The thing is, because the person still walks and eats like a normal person and does not suffers from any disabilities due to this illness, people, and even the patient themselves, expect them to function like normal. That is one of the greatest difficulties with depression. People around the patients have problem acknowledging that indeed, this person is ill and needs some extra care now. I was also guilty of this as I asked my sister to get out and walk more when she was here.
Still, I think it is good for her. Get outside to the trees and nature and let the outside heal you. My sis, you know the name of so many flowers it’s impressive. Get out, get more fresh air. I do not know how this never help. Mother Naure is awaiting you with her warm embrace. She says,” Come my child, into my arms. Mommy will heal you.”
Excuse me theory queen abit ah, too much city life and indoor is not good for our body. Go back to nature. That’s where we belong, and where we will be healed.
I love you, Sis. Get well soon.